I Went To The Fights And A Magic Show Broke Out!
July 12, 2011
Oh
my! A fight nearly broke out a birthday party I was performing at this
weekend. The would be combatants were face to face, getting hotter and
threatening blows. I was both horrified and transfixed as I watched. It
was all unfolding in front of me as they were about 20 feet behind where
the kids were sitting.
Now, since this was a two year old’s birthday party and the children watching were mostly three and four year olds you might think two of kids were going to fight over where they were sitting or a toy left in the show’s performing area. But you would be wrong. Sadly, it was two adults getting into it and ready to strike blows. And if you immediately thought it was two male adults ready to rumble you would be wrong again. No, it was two women, one of which I know for sure was a mom of one of the four year old girls in my audience.
I first noticed them as their voices grew louder. I looked out about five yards and couldn’t yet tell that there was a problem. They could have been just old friends enthusiastic about seeing each other. But is soon became clear they were ticked off as they got in each other’s face. Voices grew louder, faces got redder and neck veins giganticized. (I know giganticiced isn't a word. My spell checker told me so and thought I might want to change it “geneticist”)
As I tried to continue on entertaining the little ones my gaze kept getting pulled to the real show going on, the one with human drama. How could I compete with that? Well, the little ones didn’t need to see two grown women going at it. Honestly, that is a traumatic experience for little ones. So I kept going and grabbed glances as I went along.
It was getting worse as one woman, I can’t use the word “lady” here, was threatening to smack the other and the second woman, unafraid, was egging her on with “go ahead!” At that moment I honestly didn’t know what I would do if it came to blows.
My years as a father to my two children and being in charge at play dates with their friends would kick in I am sure and I would protect the kids somehow if need be.
Thinking about it now, pulling a rabbit out of my hat might be a good idea. And being a magician I could do that. Producing a bunny rabbit is the best attention getting device I know of. Even grown women in the back of the crowd scream (Ask me about the story of actress Angela Basset sometime.) I could pull the bunny out and gather the kids around me. They would follow me anywhere with that rabbit leading the way.
But I didn’t have to. Some men stepped in and got between the two flaming females. They stilled yelled at each other a bit like two semi-pro athletes do. But it quieted down and my eyes shrunk back down to normal size.
One of the women came over later and thanked me for the balloons I gave her daughter. I resisted the urge to ask what the kerfuffle was about. Was it about politics? About the pros and cons of the candidate? Asking would not be professional but I had the urge.
So my recommendation is keep the birthday parties and political gatherings separate!
Now, since this was a two year old’s birthday party and the children watching were mostly three and four year olds you might think two of kids were going to fight over where they were sitting or a toy left in the show’s performing area. But you would be wrong. Sadly, it was two adults getting into it and ready to strike blows. And if you immediately thought it was two male adults ready to rumble you would be wrong again. No, it was two women, one of which I know for sure was a mom of one of the four year old girls in my audience.
I first noticed them as their voices grew louder. I looked out about five yards and couldn’t yet tell that there was a problem. They could have been just old friends enthusiastic about seeing each other. But is soon became clear they were ticked off as they got in each other’s face. Voices grew louder, faces got redder and neck veins giganticized. (I know giganticiced isn't a word. My spell checker told me so and thought I might want to change it “geneticist”)
As I tried to continue on entertaining the little ones my gaze kept getting pulled to the real show going on, the one with human drama. How could I compete with that? Well, the little ones didn’t need to see two grown women going at it. Honestly, that is a traumatic experience for little ones. So I kept going and grabbed glances as I went along.
It was getting worse as one woman, I can’t use the word “lady” here, was threatening to smack the other and the second woman, unafraid, was egging her on with “go ahead!” At that moment I honestly didn’t know what I would do if it came to blows.
My years as a father to my two children and being in charge at play dates with their friends would kick in I am sure and I would protect the kids somehow if need be.
Thinking about it now, pulling a rabbit out of my hat might be a good idea. And being a magician I could do that. Producing a bunny rabbit is the best attention getting device I know of. Even grown women in the back of the crowd scream (Ask me about the story of actress Angela Basset sometime.) I could pull the bunny out and gather the kids around me. They would follow me anywhere with that rabbit leading the way.
But I didn’t have to. Some men stepped in and got between the two flaming females. They stilled yelled at each other a bit like two semi-pro athletes do. But it quieted down and my eyes shrunk back down to normal size.
One of the women came over later and thanked me for the balloons I gave her daughter. I resisted the urge to ask what the kerfuffle was about. Was it about politics? About the pros and cons of the candidate? Asking would not be professional but I had the urge.
So my recommendation is keep the birthday parties and political gatherings separate!
Posted by Douglas Hoover. Posted In : Maybe not funny but interesting!
Some funny things happen at my shows. I'll post some that might give you a chuckle!
